Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Glenn Beck's Letter to Mexican President

Glenn Beck has a response to President Calderon of Mexico, after Caldron's State of the Country Adress.

Intro from email notification

  • El Presidente
  • The President of Mexico gave his state of the nation speech, which interestingly enough was spent mostly on bashing America. Could it be perhaps that the President of Mexico doesn't want his people to notice that Mexico sucks? President Calderon said that 'where there is a Mexican, there is Mexico. Mexico does not end at its borders.' Miss Teen South Carolina couldn't have said it better. Seriously. In response to El Presidente's harsh words, Glenn responded with vigor in this non-sarcastic letter of praise. Read the transcript. (Insiders listen here).

Full Transcript

  • GLENN BECK PROGRAM
  • BEGIN TRANSCRIPT
  • GLENN: An open letter to President Felipe Calderon. Coming off Labor Day, Mr. President, there is just not a better time to talk about the American worker than now. Hard working, dedicated, loyal, resourceful, inventive, honest. The American worker is the model by which employees around the world should aspire to be like, but there are those jobs that exist that even the mighty American worker just won't do. Luckily that's where you come in, Mexico. I'm so excited to hear the news that trucking companies from Mexico are now operating freely here in the United States. Honestly it seems like such a logical idea with absolutely no flaws whatsoever. I mean, what could possibly go wrong, Felipe? It's not like your country has millions of peoples willing to pile themselves up like human sardines just to cross the border illegally. No, uh-uh. If that were the situation, then I'd be a little worried. However, since Mexico has a vibrant economy, a surplus of great jobs, unmatched pride and simply no corruption whatsoever, I'm completely at ease with the idea of giant trucks from Mexico roaming around here in the U.S. if you didn't have a country with such integrity and such spirit, one might consider this program simply a bad idea. Plus, it's not like there's all kinds of drug problems south of the border or terrorists out there are looking for new ways to penetrate our border with large caches of weapons or even a nuclear weapon. That's certainly not happening and if it was, I'd certainly be concerned if that threat were out there, obviously if terrorists knew about available transportation across the U.S. border with such large storage capacity, we'd be all over them because they'd be all over that. But thankfully Americans know that no amount of money besides maybe $75 or, call me crazy, a hundred bucks is worth selling out America over to any Mexican. >From the bottom of our hearts, President Felipe, we'd like to share this monumental step towards a borderless north Mexico with a toast. To Mex-Ameri-Canada. Seriously, you provide us so so many valuable goods, many more than the commonly known imports from Mexico, hoards of illegal immigrants, hard core narcotics, and those funny hats. You give our large corporations really cheap labor, and I don't even know how to repay you for that. Felipe, I've got to run. Got to get back to the beach, but I'd like to close by addressing the naysayers to let you know that they don't speak for the majority of Americans. Well, actually they do, but you don't have anything to worry about with those guys because the people in charge, the American politicians, they don't listen to the naysayers, either. So relax, kick back, and enjoy Labor Day. Sincerely, just some slug from America.
    END TRANSCRIPT

5 comments:

Shimmy said...

We have absolutely no reason not to trust Glenn Beck, even though he executed the losing dog by wetting the dog down with water and electrocuting the animal.

In court papers, Glenn Beck admitted that he fantasized about killing Michael Moore, and that he participated in the killing of dogs in his dogfighting operation. But he tried to deflect much of his culpability in the grisly enterprise onto his friends.

WCRX-LP Editorial Collective, said...

We like President Calderone's phrase "where there is a Mexican, there is Mexico."...

Most of the Mexican nationals that we come across in the Midwest are in ESL classes....as part of their preparation for US citizenship...

Any chance that President Calderone is missing something???...or perhaps he's preparing the ground for imposing Mexican taxes on income earned in the US by Mexican nationals???...

President Calderone's phrase is really useful..Where there is a Ford there is an automobile...where there is Coca Cola, there is refreshment....where there is a McDonald's, there is America...Where there is an American movie, there is vulgarity...where there is a beach, there is an American....where there is a pasture, there is a dairy cow....We think that President Calderone's speech writer has found a useful trope...

Michigan Redneck said...

OK shimmy,

I think you are getting confused with Michael Vick, about the dog issue. Glenn Beck has already reported on this and thinks what Vick did is sick.
I have no clue what you are talking about on the court papers saying he fantasized about killing Micheal Moore?

wcrx-lp,

Are you being smartallacky? Please explain. As a fan of Glenn Beck, I know he is being smartalack.

WCRX-LP Editorial Collective, said...

Hummm---"Smartallacky" is too strong...

A couple members of the editorial collective were trying to figure out if El Presidente's phrase had any value as a verbal formula...

The variations are just an exercise at wringing the racism (or jingoism perhaps) out of Calderone's phrase....hence the dairy cow and pasture...

In retrospect, the collective missed a perfectly picante variation "Where there is a German, there is Poland." The variation retains the essential racism of Calderone's original comment and makes explicit his implied imperial sentiment...

Is Calderone a dangerous guy...or just a blowhard???

Anonymous said...

As a mexican president once said when Kennedy said that Mexico was a diving board for drugs.
If Mexico is a diving board for drugs is because USA is the swimming pool. USA SUCKS!